kits.traumatologi.no
Chick Logic (Or the Lack Thereof)
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Scene from the 1997 Oscar-winning film, As Good As It Gets:
Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.
Ouch.
It’s been posited by men and disputed by women that there is such a thing as “chick logic”. What is chick logic? I thought you’d never ask.
Chick logic (noun). The thought process that a majority of women subscribe to that entails neither rational thought, history, or common sense. See also non-sense
I think the best way to explain chick logic is with an example of chick logic.
Many moons ago, an ex-girlfriend and I got into an argument. I have no clue what the argument was about. Well, the argument occurred while we were laying in bed and on our way to sleep. So chicky, in her pissedoffedness, turns her back to me and feigns going to sleep. Perhaps this was supposed to be a sign of “you suck” or some such foolishness. So what did I do?
Recognizing that his girlfriend is pissed and has determined that the conversation was over due to her rollverance, I decide to do what any normal man would do: I rolled over on my side and tried to go to sleep.
And then I felt a tap on my shoulder. I rolled over to an even more angered face to which I responded, “what?”
“Why did you turn your back to me?!!!?!?!!?!”
“Um, you turned your back on me. What was I supposed to do, continue to stare at your back and wait for you to turn BACK over to finish the conversation you so democratically decided to end?”
“You were NOT supposed to turn your back on me. I can’t believe you did that!”
“You can’t be serious. So let me get this right. You turn your back on me because you’re pissed and end the convo. I do the EXACT same shit, except I’m going to sleep because you decided that you’re not speaking to me anymore and I’m in even MORE trouble?”
“Yes you selfish bastard. Who do you think you are turning your back on me while we’re having an argument?”
At this point I’m totally f*cking bewildered. Common sense be damned. Somehow in her mind of minds, her turning her back to me made complete sense as it demonstrated her disdain for my side of the argument.
But the minute that I do the same (for a much better reason, mind you – she’s no longer paying me any mind) I’m at fault and have committed a crime on par with the amount of f*ckery committed by the Rampart Division of the LAPD in the 90s (look it up, scholar). This entire episode was the epitome of chick logic. Non-sensical in method, thought, and deed.
The basic tenet of chick logic supposes that women’s actions are warranted and make sense at all times while men are just jackasses who refuse to acknowledge the superior thought process of the woman.
Simply, chick logic is what happens when you place a square peg in a round hole and refuse to accept that it just doesn’t fit. Oh yeah, and you keep trying until it does fit because through sheer force and insanity, you’ve created a hole big enough to fit Oprah Winfrey during the fat years. And men just stop fighting because ultimately, we stop caring.
It’s a vicious cycle. It’s when you eat because your fat, but you’re fat because you can’t stop eating.
No, that doesn’t make any sense in the context of this post.
But yes, I think that covers it.
See? Chick.Logic.
P.S. I defy any woman to explain to me why my ex’s actions made sense!